Alternative title for this post? Trouble Pie.
Something this good shouldn’t be so easy to make. It seems wrong. The fact that I can go from craving to consuming pure peanut butter bliss in no time, is frightening.
I swear to you – dear invisible internet friends – that I’ve been getting enough fresh fruits and vegetables. They just come in between servings of luscious, creamy, ever-so-dreamy peanut butter pie.
Seriously though, ’tis the holiday season…the only appropriate time of year to use ’tis…and to cook with reckless abandon. Why not bombard you with all the business I’ve been tempted with lately? This stuff is far more exciting than any legitimate meal or food group anyway. Plus, you’ll be able to make these recipes to share with your family and friends this holiday season!
Or, if you’re like me – you can give away a small slice or two…aaaaand then eat the rest all by yourself, straight from the pie dish – as you watch Long Island Medium.
I promise you that although I have terrible taste in TV, when it comes to pie – I know what’s up.
Speaking of my fascination with all things bad on the television, I must tell you that I didn’t have cable for a couple of years. For a little bit – and Eric can back me on this – I didn’t even own a TV. I am shaming the previous, TV-less version of myself though, because I have made up for any and all time lost.
Either that, or you could say I’ve gotten really awesome at watching TV.
I prefer the latter.
Mind you, I don’t have time to watch a ton of TV. I just make sure that when I do watch, it’s pretty much the worst thing you’ve ever seen. It just dawned on me: I am like the Dos Equis man of television.
“I don’t always watch TV, but when I do, I prefer total trash.”
In an attempt at an intervention, Eric even had me say some of the names of the TV shows I’ve enjoyed – out loud – to his mother. I couldn’t get through most without laughing, but it hasn’t stop me from tuning back in every time I’m home alone.
So, what’s on my list, you ask? Let’s see…yes, Long Island Medium makes the cut every Sunday. I’ve actually been told that’s the most normal thing I watch. Honestly though, I don’t really see what’s wrong with a little Alaskan Women Looking for Love. Who can’t relate to that? We’re all, after all, just looking for love…no, I’m not from a small fishing or mining town in a state we purchased from Russia, but I get you guys. Go ahead and gimme some Gypsy Sisters…because clearly, I have no taste…and I will apparently watch anything on TLC.
What I lack in judgment, I make up for in self-restraint. How so, you ask? Well, TLC has other shows…shows I haven’t even seen (yet)! Shows like Best Funeral Ever (trying not to judge, but isn’t this something that’s suuuuuper subjective?) and Buying Naked (um, excuse me?) and Sister Wives (which, of course – is not to be confused with Gypsy Sisters).
Too much bad TV…too little time.
Now that I’m on a total tangent and might as well continue, if I worked at TLC, the first project I’d assign myself would be coming up with something else that T, L and C can stand for because The Learning Channel, it is not.
That, my friends, is false advertising at its finest.
I appreciate that TLC allows their viewers – like me – to watch their programs under the guise that we’re all actually learning something when all we’re really doing is wasting our time, one half hour at a time.
There are worse things I could do, right? Who’s with me here?
I would turn TLC off forever in exchange for unlimited slices of this Peanut Butter Pie. Believe it or not, it’s even more irresistible than all those shows – combined. Making it takes less time than watching one episode anyway and what you get – your ROI – is so much more.
Sorry to turn on you, TLC. I had to get back to the task at hand.
Never was there ever so tasty a task. You could eat that pie as is, right there – without any bells or whistles – because believe you me, it definitely does not suck. But – if you have the extra time and candy hanging around, I recommend chopping it up and sprinkling it over the top before stuffing your face.
What you see right there is a pumpkin peanut butter cup I had been stashing away in my freezer since Halloween. Maybe that’s weird, maybe that’s willpower and resourcefulness…I really don’t know. All I am certain of is that once chopped up, it looked less like Halloween and tasted more like heaven.
No-Bake Peanut Butter Pie
slightly adapted from Iowa Girl Eats
Yield: 1 pie
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: None
1 pre-made Oreo cookie pie crust*
1 cup creamy peanut butter
8 oz. cream cheese (I use low fat), softened
1/2 cup sugar
4-1/2 cups (12 oz. container) cool whip (I use lite), divided
a couple of Reese’s cups, chopped, for garnish (optional)
Beat together peanut butter, cream cheese and sugar until well combined. Gently mix in 2 cups cool whip and spread mixture evenly into pie crust.
Spread remaining cool whip on top of your peanut buttery mixture and then top with chopped candy pieces, if you want to roll that way.
Refrigerate until ready to devour.
*To make your own oreo cookie pie crust, add 20 oreo cookies into your food processor and process until you have fine crumbs. Mix with 3 Tablespoons melted butter, and press evenly into a greased pie plate. Bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.
Now’s the time to invite all your friends and family members with nut allergies over. No…not so you can give them an opportunity to use their EpiPen.
It’s so you can keep this pie all to yourself…obviously.